Results Day

I wasn’t going to write anything about Results Day because I’m in a very conflicted state of mind about my grades.  In one sense, I’m ecstatic – I got into my first choice uni on a course that I’m incredibly excited to start – but Results Day just felt so underwhelming after 2 years of hard work.

Throughout Sixth Form I’ve had a lot of problems with teachers; a lot of the staff at my school were very unambitious and really didn’t push us at all.  One of my teachers was absent a lot (I mean, a lot) and in Year 12, I had 4 different teachers for English Language due to maternity leaves/new jobs etc.  So it’s safe to say the actual teaching of my A Levels was unbalanced, at the very least.  Me, and several other students raised concerns – our parents did too, since we were going home so stressed about effectively having to teach ourselves large portions of the syllabus – to the extent of going to see the headteacher and yet…nothing changed.

The reason I’m so disappointed with my grades (one in particular) is purely because of the sheer amount of effort I put into teaching myself effectively half of 3 A Levels (I will admit, some of my teachers were fantastic and so helpful, but others were the binary opposite).  I’m not writing this post as a sob story or as an excuse for why I maybe didn’t do as well as I could have done.  I know full well that there was nothing more I personally could have done to get better grades.  My grades aren’t even bad, they’re just not what I was expecting or hoping for, and they’re really not reflective of the amount of time and effort I put into them.

Anyway.  C’est la vie.  I was one mark off an A in English Literature so I’m trying to get that remarked (although my school is being very unhelpful and so the earliest my papers will actually be sent off to be remarked is 21st August, a full 6 days after Results Day).  I’d really been hoping for an A* in English Literature (and honestly, I kind of expected one – English has always been my strong subject, I’d received full marks in my coursework and I came out of the exams feeling relatively confident – which maybe shows I need to not expect things and not take things for granted!!) and I worked so hard for one, since I’m going to be doing a degree in it, but I just don’t feel like my work paid off.  A B is still a good grade and I’m happy that I got it as it’s still allowed me to get to where I want to go next year; it’s just the perfectionist in me wanted higher.

I got into my favourite uni though, so I’m not really sure how much that annoying little B matters.  Next month I’m going to be studying English Literature at the University of York, and I’m so excited.  I’m so grateful too, because I really thought I wouldn’t get on to the course – they ask for an A minimum in English Literature, so I think I’ve scraped through by the skin of my teeth.  I’m worried I’m going to feel like an impostor because of this, even though I know I’m perfectly capable (I was only a mark off an A, after all) but I think when I meet new people who’ve all got As and A*s, I think I’ll be left feeling a little inferior.

** I want to add a little disclaimer before I end this post.  I’m well aware that the grades I received are good grades and by saying I’m unhappy with what I got, in no way am I trying to diminish their value.  I am a perfectionist, always have been and I’m fairly sure I always will be, and I’ve always set my hopes on being the best and getting the best grades etc.  Additionally, with the struggle of having to self-teach a big chunk of my A Levels, I feel annoyed at myself for not having been able to do a better job at teaching (which is ridiculous because it shouldn’t have been almost completely down to me in the first place) but there we are.  I think essentially, I’m greedy with perfectionism – I knew all along that if I didn’t get 3 a*s I’d be disappointed, but I also can’t really blame myself, because the teaching standards at my school honestly were shambolic.**

I hope this makes sense – I feel like I’ve rambled on a bit.  Whilst I feel like I could have (and maybe should have) done better, there was no way physically or mentally I could have done more revision, so at the very least I’m satisfied that I gave A Levels my best shot despite the numerous hurdles and proud that the grades I got are very good regardless.  I’m going to uni next month and I genuinely can’t wait, so I’m going to just try to forget about the monumental pain in the arse A Levels were and move on to bigger and better things (first class degree, here I come ;)…)

I hope if you got your results they were what you wanted! And even if they weren’t, like me you’ll end up where you’re meant to go anyway.  Maybe the most important thing A Levels have taught me is that education is crucial, but grades aren’t the be-all and end-all – the people around you and your own goals and ambitions are 🙂

 

The book club

peep the exam timetable…bleurrghh

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a couple of weeks now, but school is so busy and the very little free time I have at the mo is spent trying to relax, not focusing on blogging/social media. Yesterday though I decided enough was enough – I can only abandon my blog for so long without beginning to feel guilty about the lack of content haha, so here we are.

I’m going to be discussing a few of the books I’ve read recently so I think I’ll start off with my least favourite – although when I say least favourite, I don’t mean that I disliked it. Call Me By Your Name has such a hype around it, but honestly…I was disappointed?? I know I’ve said this before, but I think because everybody seemed to fall head over heels for it (and Timothee Chalamet) I also expected to fall completely in love with it. Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy it and I’m going to watch the film soon, plus it’s inspired me to go and live in Italy for a summer in the hope of meeting someone like Oliver but…out of everything I’ve read recently, it would probably be at the bottom of my to-read-again pile.

Moving from left to right, I read A Woman of No Importance by Oscar Wilde because I went to see a screening of it at the cinema with my friends (although long story short I never actually got the see it because the file corrupted). I loved the sense of glamour and mystery throughout (typical Wilde, am I right) and I’m really excited to read some more of his plays – I bought the collection of his plays in Oxfam for £2, winner!! And speaking of Oscar Wilde, I’ve also been reading more of his short stories although I’m sort of struggling with them. They’re like nursery rhymes in book form, so there’s no real plot to a lot of them which makes them quite relaxing to read, but also (dare I say it?!) kind of boring in parts. Uh huh. Yep. I just called classic literature boring. I’m ashamed of myself too, dw. I’m going to start Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime soon though, which I’m hoping will have more of a plotline to it, so I’ll let you know how I get on with that.

For my English Lit A Level I Study A Streetcar Named Desire so, since exams are looming upon us, I thought I should probably reread it. I know I’ve spoken about if before on my blog so I’m not going to go into masses of detail, but even though I’ve read it 3 or 4 times now, I still truly love it and on each reread I find something new/interesting to consider.

On the American Lit theme, I recently read Breakfast at Tiffany’s which I honestly read in about 2 hours: it just gripped me (and I’ll take any excuse not to revise). It reminded me a lot of The Great Gatsby with its materialistic society and flawed/false identities and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it – although I really want to know the cat’s name haha.

And finally… White Teeth. Eleanor and Lucy both suggested I read it and I saw that it’s on one of the modules I’ll be taking at uni so I thought I’d give it a go. I loved it!! I found the concept of trying to uphold your roots really interesting, maybe because it’s something that I’m unfamiliar with (SPOILERS AHEAD: what I mean here is, I was born in England to an English family and apart from holidays abroad and travelling, I’ve only really been exposed to one culture, whereas White Teeth follows the journey of migrants settling into England whilst trying to uphold the beliefs/ideals of their old country which starkly contrast to English ideals.) I think I read White Teeth at the perfect time really; what with the “migrant crisis” (crisis yikes I hate that phrase so much) and increasing numbers of wars and conflicts and terrorist attacks, it felt very poignant and applicable throughout.

In terms of what I’m reading now, I currently have 2 books on the go – One Day by David Nicholls and Cherry Crush by Cathy Cassidy. Yep, you read that right, a (hopefully) soon-to-be English Lit uni student is reading a 9 year old’s book. I’m having another declutter and Cherry Crush is on the ‘donate to charity’ pile, but when I was younger it was my favourite book so I didn’t want to get rid of it without reading it again.

I’m also supposedly on a book ban, however in the last month or so I may or may not have bought 6 books. I have mixed feelings because I know that I will read them and I’ll enjoy reading them, but at the moment I just don’t have time and it’s frustrating to see so many unread books on my shelves. Plus, I’m meant to be saving money for uni and summer but… oh well! I’m obsessed.

What are you currently reading? And what are you planning to read next? I hope everybody’s well, and have a lovely week xx

state of mind

– photos from pinterest –

I’ve been musing a lot lately. Partly as a form of procrastination, but partly because I feel like I’m on the brink of a new start and I’m just waiting for it to happen.

These last few weeks, I’ve been focusing on trying to maintain a positive attitude at all times. Not just for my own benefit but for everyone who surrounds me, because we all need a little more happiness in our lives. Instead of sending typical snapchat streaks (yesss, I still have them, I don’t know if they’re still cool or not?!) of a black screen and ‘streaks’ written across, I’ve been sending my pals fun messages in the mornings. Motivational even, as some of them have said 😉 I’m feeling really motivated for life in general at the moment, and I really want to share that with other people. I find, when I’m feeling down, even a simple reminder that I’m loved, or that I can do something, helps me a lot so I’m trying to reciprocate that with others.

In time for the new year I’m trying to instil some habits on my life which I think the moodboard at the top of this post quite accurately summarises. I’m trying to set up a sense of calm before the chaos of next year by being present at all times, and really focusing on the here and now. I want to make sure I have a lot of fun in between revising for the dreaded e*ams, so next year I’m trying bullet journalling. As well as being a hobby, I’m hoping having a journal will motivate me and organise me (a win-win situation for everyone hehe).

I just feel like I’m in limbo at the moment – I’m working towards a goal that at the moment I’m 8 months away from knowing if I’ve achieved or not. Whilst I am trying to focus on the present enjoy every single moment of sixth form since it’s my last year of formal education, it’s hard, despite me being the most content at school I think I’ve ever been. In summer I have so many things to look forward to – seemingly endless time, travels with pals (hopefully!), days out to various cities. I want to learn about natural history and visit lots of museums and art galleries and stare into space looking at constellations but at the moment I just don’t have time. And I desperately want time. 17 isn’t going to last for ever and I want to feel like I truly made the most of it. Because then it’s 18, and that’s when the tough adult shiz starts. Everything seems to be in preparation for university – I keep saying things to myself like ‘oh, when I’m at uni I’ll join the gym’ (you guys need to hold me to that!!). It just feels odd to be working towards something so far in the distance but which is in reality not that long away.

This definitely has not been one of my most eloquent posts but I just wanted to put down my thoughts. I seem to be stuck in-between two phases of my life, not that that’s necessarily a bad place to be stuck: I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

Results Day

I know, I know, you’re probably not going to be really wanting to read this post whilst it’s still summer, but as it’s GCSE results day today and I received my grades, I thought I’d write a short little post!

A quick background

So, I’m in the first year group to sit the new gcse exams – only in maths, english literature and english language. next year’s class will take all the new exams. These new exams have been initiated in an attempt to “differentiate” between higher grades, so basically, when in previous years the highest grade was an A*, now there is a 9 – an ‘A* and a half’, if you will. A grade 8 is equivalent to a low A*/high A and this continues – now, a grade 4 is a pass (next year it’ll be a 5) as the difficulty of the exams has also increased.

If you don’t live in the UK, you’re probably a bit confused at this point. GCSEs are exams that children aged 15 or 16 have to take. They span a variety of subjects, and people generally take around 10 subjects – I believe that next year you may be able to take less – but have to sit around 20 exams.

My experience

For my exams, I took maths, English literature, English language, core science, additional science (these are all compulsory subjects), PSHCE (this was compulsory at my school), and then art, geography, biology and Spanish as my options. I only sat 17 exams so I was quite lucky in that respect, and overall I’m happy with the grades I’ve been awarded:

  • maths – grade 8
  • english literature – grade 8
  • english language – grade 9 with distinction
  • pshce – level 2
  • core science – A
  • additional science – A
  • spanish – A*
  • geography – A*
  • ICT – A*
  • art – A

Tips and advice

  1. start revising early, but not too early.
  2. don’t stress out too much – they’re not the end of the world!
  3. believe in yourself!
  4. don’t forget to treat yourself – that means when you’re revising, as well as after the exams, and on results day.
  5. listen to your teachers! But your friends and parents are also really good sources of help and information.

I hope this helps some of you! If you took GCSEs, how did you do? Let me know in the comments!