Blogging is a weird thing. It’s like having a conversation with a person who you’ve never met before and who you really don’t know – literally anybody could be reading what you’re writing. And that’s scary.
Since I began blogging, which I think was in 2015, I’ve not told anybody I know that I have a blog. Nobody. A few people I know from school have found my blog (I think – they’ve at least found my instagram and Twitter, which have my blog’s URL in the bios) and that terrifies me. I really don’t understand why; partially I just want to keep the two worlds separate, and I’ve never liked other people looking at my work, but more recently I started to wonder whether I subconsciously think it’s too much of an almost-taboo subject to be a blogger. There’s a lot of debate going on at the moment about the significance of blogs, especially since that advert that the internet went ballistic over. Today I decided that I wanted to write a letter of sorts to people I know in real life who will, eventually, find my blog; to tell them why I blog, and why I don’t talk about it.
Finding your voice and your identity in a real life scenario is hard enough, particularly in your teenage years when you want to simultaneously fit in and stand out. You know, you’re trying to figure out your body, your likes, your dislikes, your clothing and music taste and stick to what you want, whilst also maintaining that slightly distanced persona every cool person seems to have. It’s hard, and it’s made ten times harder when you don’t even know who you’re communicating and speaking to.
Writing and publishing takes some confidence, I won’t lie. Your blog is like a Horcrux, a little part of your soul. Sorry for the Harry Potter analogy but honestly, it does feel like it – whatever you say online, you know that someone, somewhere in the world will read it, reply, help if needed, comfort, joke…they’ve got you.
In this incredible online community there is a place for everyone. You know when something feels so good that you don’t want to talk about it to anyone, because then it’ll feel somehow less good? Blogging fits exactly into that category. It’s hard to start with, like when you’re at an event on your own and have to find someone to talk to, but so quickly, you become part of an online family.
This is why I blog. It’s fun, I love writing – I always have and I’m fairly sure I always will, although English Literature essays?? Maybe I’ll give them a miss – and you grow as a person. Often I’ll be writing, the words pouring out, and I’ll type something that I didn’t even know I thought. It’s like an extension of yourself, where you can say exactly what you want.
Why I don’t talk about blogging? It’s private. It’s like a diary, although published to limitless numbers of people. Contradictory, huh? I love it, and I love you if you’re reading this.
Also, if I know you in real life, please don’t mention my blog because I will turn bright red and possibly cry. Pretend you haven’t seen it. Read from afar 😉