03.10 – the hardest parts of life, as told by a teen

Somebody messaged me on Instagram asking for my advice about how to recover when you lose a friend. I’m not sure if this was meant literally or metaphorically but I thought I’d try and help regardless.

  • Out of sight does not mean out of mind

You know how the saying goes – if you can’t see something you don’t think about it. Not true. I would actually say it’s the opposite. From personal experience I know that if you lose something or someone you see ghosts everywhere, little reminders of them or people who you think are them. And almost as if this was planned or something, that leads me onto my next point:

  • Although it hurts, memories are a good thing

They might get you down – in fact, if you’ve lost someone they’re almost certain to upset you – but that’s ok and that’s natural. Again, since my friend passed away, the number of times I’ve been out shopping or in a restaurant or in the corridor and am about to say hi to her is staggering before I realise that no, it’s not her and it never will be her; the thing that you have to remember though, is how much fun you had together and how they wouldn’t be wanting you to get upset.

  • Distract yourself but don’t become obsessive about avoiding the topic

Unfortunately, losing people is a part of life (a really really crap part) and whilst you’re healing, it’s best to try and distract yourself as much as possible – respect them but also respect yourself. If you don’t want to talk about it, tell people that, but don’t just pretend the matter doesn’t exist – this links back to my very first point.

  • Life goes on, and gets better

Please, believe me on this one. If there’s anything at all you take away from this post, let it be this: as difficult and as saddening as it is, some sort of normality will return to your life – undoubtedly it’ll be different to what you’d previously have called ‘normal’, but you’ll begin to feel stronger and happier as time passes.

That’s all for today – I’m sorry it’s potentially a bit of a depressing read but guys, if you ever have any problems or want to talk to someone about anything, I’m here for you (and I promise I normally won’t write a blog post about it!)

Cara xx

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